Cole vs. the potty

OK, I'm well aware that I'm not the only mother who has ever struggled with potty training a child. It is a major issue that mom's are always talking about. But how do you train a very smart, strong-willed child?
Bless his heart, Cole is wonderful. He is everything to me. He is beautiful, smart, hilarious, full of life (and energy), and is just an absolute joy to be around. But, he is VERY strong-willed. I am happy about this, because I know he will grow up to be an independent, "can do" man one day. But, it makes for very difficult toddler years; for the both of us! I have been trying to train Cole since he was about 18 months old. I bought him this wonderful little potty that sings every time you use the bathroom. Brilliant, right?! Um, not so much. He hated the potty; told me it was "too yucky!" So, I backed off for awhile.
His second birthday came, and I was at this point about 3 months pregnant with Raleigh. I didn't want 2 in diapers, so I was determined to train him before her birth. I bought one of those small seats you put over the big potty thinking he would like this better, and indeed he did. He was showing all of the promising signs; staying dry during naps and bedtime, telling me after he "went," and hiding when he had to poop. I would sit him on the potty and every time he peed, I would celebrate and jump around and praise him for everything! He too, loved this! He would call Nana and GiGi and inform them of his good doings! But, this too quickly faded. Before I knew it, Raleigh was born and we were buying diapers for 2 children. Ok, y'all, this gets expensive! Newborn diapers are crazy enough; we would go through easily 15-20 diapers daily when she was first born. So, my determination came back in full force; I would have him trained by his 3rd birthday.
Cole will be 3 on August 24th. I can't wait! I'm planning a luau theme. He is really excited as well, and sees me buying all these decorations, and he knows they are all for him and his big day. But will he be fully potty trained by then? Maybe not. After he and I did "battle" for 3 hours yesterday, (yes, 3 hours!) I have come to the conclusion that he is smart enough to know what he is doing, and he is testing me. I desperately tried to get him to poop on the potty yesterday, trying everything from one extreme to the other. And after going back and forth to the bathroom for 3 hours, I finally gave up. Yes, he is testing me. He's good at it. He knows me very well. So, I have decided to try one final thing; pretend like it doesn't bother me. If he wants to go on the potty, great! If not, great! This may sound crazy, and it probably is, but I'm desperate and I don't know what else to do. Maybe if he sees that I'm not pressuring him to go, then he'll want to do it on his own.
Or maybe, Daddy will be off for seven days starting tomorrow and he can try............ :)